Playing (with) God

Who is Eric De Anda? Answer: A recovering control freak!

#266 Why do people get involved in God's business of "life" and make it their duty to make things happen according to how they think things should be? Control issues. I used to (and possibly still do, just a little) have control issues. The biggest problem with "control freaks" is that when things don't go their way they feel out of control. But that's hardly the truth. They are not out of control, just out of tune. Out of tune and touch with reality and life. Things aren't always going to go our way, and until you accept that, you will never truly be happy. Maybe for the moment you may feel all is right in the world, but within that same moment your next thoughts are preoccupied with prevention of other things that can possibly go wrong. You will never be content. I met a friend about 5 years ago, and when I relayed some bad news to him he said, "oh well." I was shocked! I wanted him to react as I would. If it were me I would have stammered and cursed and sought efforts to correct the wrong doer. But he didn't. You see he had the will power and control of a farmer. In my opinion farmers deserve a lot of respect. Farmers make their living working in the fields and in an environment in which they have no control. Can you imagine that? Working your rear off and doing the best job within your power, all with the possibility that mother nature will freeze it, dry it, drown it, or kill it, and there is nothing you can do about it. You really have no idea what tomorrow brings. (yes I am aware we have crop heaters and sprinklers, but mother nature can out do these man made devices and has on many occasions). If you lose everything, you have to accept it. Farmers have to say, think, and believe, in "oh well," and move on to the next day. But it's not that simple for a farmer. If you lose your crop, you essentially lose everything. You can't just plant another stalk of corn and replace the dead one. You have to start all over again from seed. But first have to remove all the damaged vegetation, prep the soil, and decide if it's worth doing again. In the blink of an eye you can lose months of labor, thousands of dollars, your farm and your future. And even if you can bankroll the entire year with negative income, and have the gumption and drive to try, try again, you still have to wait almost a complete year for the planet to re-align in its elliptical orbit of the sun for your season to begin again. The ultimate traits of a farmer in this situation are acceptance and patience. As is the solution to being a control freak. Things will happen in God's time. A significant characteristic of a control freak is not so much that we want things to go our way. It's that we want things to go our way NOW. Just like when your driving on the "fast Lane" on the freeway (do I date myself?), and the car in front of you is driving slower than all the other traffic. You want that person to get out of your way so you can do what you want to do. That's a control issue. Things aren't happening the way we would like. But really it's a patience issue, just like the farmer. If you give any situation, in which you have no control, time, it will more than likely work itself out. Or, in enough time, you will overcome the desire to control that person, place, or thing. So my suggestion is to Let Go and Let God. He usually exceeds our expectations anyway. You can trust me on this one. Within the last couple of years I decided to let go of everything in which I concluded I had no control, even the destiny of my own life. I can't begin to tell you how the dominoes of life started to fall in my favor, one at a time. It's all in God's hands, and I'm just holding on for the ride. Because when I try and drive (my life), I usually end up behind the slowest driver, who is doing about 52 in the fast lane, with the stuck blinker.

Nowadays... that I no longer try to control everything around me, and leave it all in God's hands...

Let's just say, I look forward to plowing the fields everyday with 469 German horses.

; )

New Year's Resolutions

#274. Why do we make New Year's resolutions? Is it because we have become so complacent in our lives that we need this little reminder to wake up? Why do we live our lives with short term goals and instant gratification for 11 months out of the year, then on January 1st, we decide it's time to turn over a new leaf? So we hit the gym, change our diet, save our money. But for how long? Until the overwhelming desire for instant gratification takes over again? How about resolving to work on the 'cause' and not the 'symptoms' in our lives in 2006?

Being overweight or having no savings is a "symptom" we can work on, but will be a struggle for the entire year unless we work on the "cause." In my opinion, the cause is hasty decision making which grant us instant gratification, with little or no regard for our weight, our money, and our future. Television, media, and society promote this unsavory feature in us. Why don't we realize the uselessness of resolutions aimed at symptoms? Why....? Because television has tainted logical thinking. You see, we have already been brainwashed to seek instant rewards and gratification, regardless of our future condition, as the cure to all our problems, because WE DESERVE IT. THAT is the problem.

Our laziness is the path of least resistance, in which television takes full advantage. We would rather come home and sit on the couch and be entertained than seek alternate methods of recreation and exercise which cause us pain and grant no instant euphoria. TV promotes this behavior, creating, modifying, and condoning an erroneous core belief.

On a side note, our children are suffering greatly from this, and we really have no idea of what lies ahead. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to come home and plop in front of MTV or an XBox. We played outside, we rode our bikes, we raked leaves, and came in when the sun set, and were usually covered in sweat and grass. Why can't TV promote a healthier, smarter way of living? Or the importance of turning off the TV and doing something beneficial for your self?

Would a television program about denying your self-serving impulses contradict the "buy it now!" message in commercials? Of course. So you will never see such an animal. Nor will you ever see a commercial about the brainwashing TV programs perform. TV programs and commercials both work on instant gratification in some form or another. They need each other to facilitate their existence. As a matter fact they team up on us. Besides, your brainwashed, weak minded impulses are what make both businesses prosper and grow stronger.

Why can't televisions come with a warning label on the outside of the cardboard box, like those you see on CD's? Or how about a warning broadcast that interrupts your viewing every half hour to remind you of how much time you are wasting? Or how about a commercial noting how many calories you didn't burn, as you sat there sucking down a diet Coke? What about a McDonald's commercial with a pre-warning informing that you can eat better and have a healthier, more functional family if you make dinner, sit down together, and eat with the TV off? I don't think McDonald's has anybodies best interest. Yet my kid loves their Fries, and I give him whatever he wants. In moderation of course.

Our New Year's resolutions should not pertain to our weight, our money, or our love lives. They should focus on better decision making skills and long term goals. If so, we wouldn't have a weight problem, a meager savings account, nor en erroneous perception of whom Mr. or Ms. Right is. We can make better decisions more easily if we don't let our core beliefs become infiltrated by television. Once we get past the instant gratification dilemma, and stop living vicariously through TV stars, THEN, will we start to think on our own, understand who we really are, and what we really need. THEN, we will confidently "pass" on that Quarter Pounder with Cheese or that $5 Starbucks Frapuccino. I'm not saying we don't deserve rewards and instant gratifications. I'm saying that we need to think twice about how many times we've spent 5 bucks on a cup of coffee this month, or how many thousands of calories we've ingested on unhealthy food, or how many hours we've let our televisions have their way with our decision making skills.

I wish all who read my (somewhat incoherent) rambling the best decision making in 2006. If the urge for instant gratification becomes too overwhelming, and you struggle to stay in control, remember, "this too, shall pass."

On the flip side... Sometimes you just gotta say "#&@% IT!"
Happy New Year.

Eric De Anda








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